why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
