dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
