Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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