Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Everyone says I win the strip club
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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