margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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