Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize