i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize