Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
