I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
