Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
NoShamevember. You game?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
