i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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