Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
