THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
