i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
