There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You need a sexual gate keeper
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
