I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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