i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
