she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
