i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
