i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We are two peas in an std pod
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
