Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
