Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
