you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
