It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
please don't ironically join a cult
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