Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
