i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She bit a glass in half.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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