We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
