ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
