i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He passed out mid-signature
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
