Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize