I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
