Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize