Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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