So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
