It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
