did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
