Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
