How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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