I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
