Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
