well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Randomize
