He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
