I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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