Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
her facebook's as public as her vagina
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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