Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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