I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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