Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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