he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
