I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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