she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
