everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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