I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
