everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
