Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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