I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
