either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm just crazy horny about you
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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