Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We need to rekindle our bromance
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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