Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
