just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
