So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Randomize