plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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