How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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