If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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