JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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