at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
