She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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