Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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