ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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