I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
