i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
