omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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